I DON'T HAVE ONE. Is my answer when asked, "What's your culinary point of view?" I just cook. Farm to Table? Nah, that should be the standard way to do things already. Besides, hipsters have that one covered. Modernist Cuisine/Molecular Gastronomy? Eh...no. I don't have an immersion circulator, never cooked w/ agar agar or own a lab coat...yet. Classical? Nope. Though I can make a mean bordelaise & bechamel, I don't have a French accent. I don't even know/haven't even tried/or even wanted to cook dishes from my Pacific Islander heritage. One day, adobo, one day. Comfort Food? Heck no. One pot cooking w/ a dish that when done is mainly a monotone brown color that you plop down on a plate cafeteria style? Sorry, Paula Deen fans. Not really sorry. I like to cook like I'm playing w/ LEGOs. Building, creating & making things up w/ different components, flavors & colors. Whatever keeps it fun for a few hours in the kitchen...
The GC Ain't Got Beef w/ Vegetarians Intergalactic Planetary Plate of Awesome
Red pepper+citrus charred rapini, lemon+rosemary roasted taters, garlic+shallot sauteed portobello, slow roasted herb+garlic tomato, fire roasted corn puree, soft boiled quail eggs & lemon+dill vinaigrette
Ingredients:
- A bundle of rapini aka broccoli rabe [I say rapini b/c broccoli rabe, pronounced broccoli "rob", sounds like a lame Veggie Tales character w/ a drug problem]
- Crushed red pepper flakes [Amount? How spicy do you want it?]
- Serrano chile [1 fine diced]
- 3 lemons [juiced, 1tsp zest]
- 2 limes [juiced, 1 tsp zest]
- 4 quail eggs [aka mini flavor bullets]
- Handful of baby red potatoes
- 3 garlic cloves [1 slivered, 2 minced]
- A few sprigs of fresh rosemary & thyme
- 1 lg shallot [minced]
- Ground coriander [1tsp]
- Portobello shrooms [1/2 cup sliced]
- Some vine ripe tomatoes
- Dried thyme [1tsp]
- Dried oregano [1tsp]
- Dried basil [1tsp]
- Dried marjoram [1tsp]
- Dried rosemary [1tsp]
- 4 ears of corn
- Ground cumin [1tsp]
- Cilantro [chopped, a pinch or 2]
- Heavy cream [1/2 cup]
- Baby chard [handful]
- Baby arugula [handful]
- Dill [chopped 1tsp]
- Red wine vinegar
- Dijon mustard [1tbs]
- Olive oil
- Sea salt
- Fresh cracked pepper
- Butter
- Ballast Point Sculpin [2 bottles, not used in this recipe at all]
- The chill instrumentals of Diverse orbiting the speakers
Slow Roasted Tomato: Halve the vine ripe tomatoes. Season well w/ all the dried herbs listed above [thyme, oregano, basil, marjoram, rosemary] aka the GC version of the classic "Herbs de Provence". If you want to try to impress your friends at a dinner party, say you seasoned w/ Herbs de Provence...they wont understand or even care, but will pretend to [while they mentally count down the days til that child obesity promoting creepy clown brings back the McRib as they're listening to you babble about herbs]. Whatevs. Place the tomatoes in a baking dish w/ some fresh rosemary sprigs, slivered garlic, s&p & a good amount of olive oil. Set your oven to 275-300d then roast for 1.5-2hrs. Go skate for a bit & chill w/ a BP Sculpin while you wait. Or take a quick nap. By the beard of Zeus! The amazing smell will wake you up. These are some simple & tasty flavor grenades that explode off your plate that you could also huck at your bland seasoning enemies.
Red Pepper & Citrus Charred Rapini: Trim the bottoms of the rapini then blanch. I blanch [quick boil then drown in an ice water bath] veggies a lot b/c bright green colored veggies are cooler than dark green, murky swamp muck. Toss w/ olive oil, garlic, crushed red pepper flakes, serrano chile, lemon & lime juice, s&p. Let sit & marinate while you're prepping all the other components & continue to smell that amazing aroma from those roasting tomatoes & pretentiously classical sounding Herbs de Provence. Set your grill to hi heat & cook til slightly charred but still crisp. You know the drill.
Roasted Taters: Slice the baby red potatoes into discs. Try to refrain from spinning them on your cutting board like you would spin a quarter on a table. See...try not to do it now after you've sliced them. Toss & coat w/ olive oil, minced garlic & shallots, ground coriander, s&p. Throw on a baking sheet w/ some rosemary & chopped thyme & roast. 400d 20min. Squeeze of lemon to finish.
Sauteed Portobello Shrooms: Adds the "meaty" element to this meatless dish. On med heat, saute garlic & shallots in olive oil. Add shrooms & a nub of butter. Saute w/ a wooden spoon in one hand while sipping on bottle #2 of Sculpin w/ the other hand while daydreaming about space travel. Basically, you could do this part in your sleep. Cook til golden. 8-10min. That's it.
Fire Roasted Corn Puree: Whisk together some lime juice, ground cumin, crushed red pepper flakes, chopped cilantro, s&p, olive oil. Grill your corn til a little bit charred. Take off heat then slice off the kernels. Combine the kernels w/ the limey/spicy vinaigrette type thing you just whisked up. Ever had that awesome Mexican street food: Grilled corn on the cob rubbed w/ fresh lime? This is like that but overly & unnecessarily complicated [I like to play w/ food]. Throw it all in a processor then blitz w/ little increments of heavy cream & butter til you get the consistency you want.
Baby Chard & Arugula w/ Lemon & Dill Vinaigrette: Combine lemon/lime juice & zest, dill, mint, red wine vinegar, dijon, garlic, s&p & olive oil. Emulsify. Dress your baby greens & reserve some vinaigrette to finish the dish later. Adding freshness & especially a little acidity/citrus/vinegar to a dish at the last moment is a secret flavor weapon. Shhh...our secret.
Soft Boiled Quail Eggs: These are my faves. A hassle to peel but whatevs, deal w/ it. Boil for 2min. Let cool. Peel [takes some time, DON'T TEAR THE WHITES w/ your nervous fingers, clumsy face]. Slice. Runny yolks are the radness. Got a sharp knife? If you don't, well, I'm sorry. Back to the minors for you/you're gonna slice up your hands/you're gonna hack your meat & veggies into unrecognizable chunks of meh. If you do have a sharp knife like my fave Shun Japanese steel ninja blades, you can do something fancy & slice off just the hardened upper 3rd white of the quail egg but still leave the whole spherical yolk intact [#BallerStatus].
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*Bonus points for you + an extra life + unlimited ammo + warp zone clearance + bragging rights. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Start, yo.
Plating: This is the fun part. Stream the corn puree around the plate in a circle b/c it looks rad. Lay down the lemon+dill vinaigrette dressed baby greens on the side. Add the citrus charred rapini. Top w/ the sauteed shrooms & roasted taters. Place the flavor grenade that is the slow roasted Herbs de Provence [and please say it w/ a thick & terrible attempt at a French accent] tomato & the soft boiled quail eggs neatly on the plate. Drizzle a little more of the vinaigrette/secret weapon & drop some fresh dill on there. It should resemble a free-flowing galaxy. Outer space is cool...hence this dish's audio accompaniment.
[Sidenote: There's gonna be a lot of kitchen equipment to wash after this one]
#CookOrDie
Soundtrack: "Escape Earth (the Moon) [instrumental]" - Diverse
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