THE McRIB IS McGARBAGE. Truth. Whatever the hell that is in between those soggy buns that silly clown & his hamburglarizing friends are slinging out that drive thru window at peeps who don't know any better, it ain't meat. C'mon it's shaped to look like it has bones in it. What the fudge? Never trust food promoted by a purple blob named Grimace. Want a real, sweet & tangy pork sammich alternative? Check out this GC remix.
The GC McRib Remix Sammich:
Citrus+herb roasted pork tenderloin w/ shallot confit, pickled cucumber+fennel, grilled sage cremini shrooms, basil, cherry+balsamic gastrique & toasted baguette.
Ingredients:
- Pork tenderloin [1-2, how hungry are you?]
- Lemon [3, 2 juiced]
- Orange [1 juiced]
- A few sprigs of thyme, rosemary & oregano
- Smoked paprika [1tbs]
- Cumin [1tsp]
- 2 lg shallot [thinly sliced, 1tsp minced]
- Sherry [1/3 cup]
- Crushed red pepper flakes [a pinch]
- Red wine vinegar [a dash]
- Garlic [2 cloves, minced]
- Cucumber [1 thinly sliced]
- Fennel [1 bulb thinly sliced]
- White wine vinegar
- Sugar [2 tbs]
- Pink peppercorns [1bs]
- Coriander seeds [1tsp]
- Cremini shrooms [1/2 cup sliced]
- Sage [1 tbs chopped]
- Handful of basil leaves
- Cherries [1/2 cup, pitted]
- Cherry preserves [3tbs]
- Balsamic vinegar
- Brown sugar [1tbs]
- Oregano [1tbs, chopped]
- Fresh baguette
- Butter
- Sea salt
- Fresh cracked pepper
- Problems [99 of them, this sammich wont be one though]
Roasted Pork Tenderloin: Hit up your fave butcher shop & grab a nice & inexpensive slab of meat goodness known as the pork tenderloin. If your butcher knows what's up, the loin should be ready for you to season & cook already. If he/she's a hack, you might have to take a little sinew/fibrous tissue aka that hard to eat rubbery stuff off. Just take your Wu-Tang liquid sword & slice that off. Cut loin in half. Season loins well w/ paprika, cumin, s&p. Sear the loins on med-hi heat til all sides are seared golden. Just like roulades, most loins are rounded & have no sides. You can do it. Defeat logic. Lay the loins down in a baking dish that's already been preheating in a 375d oven. Season w/ lemon & orange juice, lemon slices, a few sprigs of rosemary, thyme & oregano. Roast. 20-25min. Tent w/ some foil & let rest 8min before thinly slicing. Let the juices circulate back into the meat. Science & patience = Juicy un-dry meat. Loin[s] appeared 6 times in this segement.
Shallot Confit: Bust out your mandolin & thinly slice the shallots in kinda like a "paint-the-fence" Karate Kid style motion. Quick saute on med-lo heat w/ a little olive oil 3-4min til translucent. Add some sherry & let it cook out, evaporate, go poof like magic. Turn heat to low & add enough olive oil to cover the shallots. Stir in a pinch of chopped oregano, a pinch of crushed red pepper flakes & a dash of red wine vinegar, s&p. Let that awesomness cook slow & low for an hour+. Stir once in a while. You & your house will smell like shallot confit for a week. Nothing wrong w/ that. If you have any left over, jar that goodness up. Stays fresh in the fridge up to a week. Reheat & throw on some roasted taters, salads, meats, etc. Tell your friends.
Pickled Cucumber & Fennel: Grab your fave Japanese steel chef's or nakiri knife & summon your all-star+sushi chef+precise+light speed knife skillz & thinly slice the cucumber & fennel [I don't have any of these skillz]. A mandolin would work fine too if you're afraid of clumsily slicing yourself like a fool [Sidenote: Listening to body movin' music while doing knife work is a questionable idea...trust me]. Whisk together white wine vinegar, sugar, lemon juice, pink peppercorns, coriander seeds, garlic, sea salt. Drown the cucumber & fennel in that mix. Delicious death by marination. Cover & throw in the fridge for at least 2hrs. The freshness. Mos def crisper than those McCrap pickles that've been sitting in pickling liquid since writing was invented back in Mesopotamia. Jar the extras. Lasts a few days. Throw some on a classic American style burger or a pretentious French frisée salad w/ poached egg. Don't discriminate.
Grilled Sage Mushrooms: Cook shrooms in a little olive oil w/ minced garlic, chopped sage, s&p on med heat til golden. Stir every now & then. 8-10min. You can have your pet dog, cat or dragon do this part. Seriously. ZZZZZZ snoozefest.
Cherry Balsamic Gastrique: Saute cherries w/ butter & brown sugar on med heat til it caramelizes, 5-7min while stirring w/ your trusty wooden spoon. Add balsamic, white wine vinegar, cherry preserves, chopped oregano, minced shallot, lemon juice, s&p. Switch to your trusty whisk & combine the stuff. When it begins to boil, let it reduce a bit then take off the heat & strain thru a sieve. It'll thicken as it cools. This is the same exact paragraph from an earlier recipe sans mint but w/ shallot. Going savory[ier]? That's not a real word.
Baguette: Slice. Butter. Toast.
Plating: Spread a little gastrique on the bread. Layer shrooms, basil leaves for the crisp freshness, pickled cucumber & fennel, a pile of thinly sliced pork tenderloin, shallot confit & a little squeeze of lemon [I hear cooks all the time say layer w/ flavors & season every layer. They're smart]. Swirl, in a circular motion, some more of the gastrique on the plate b/c you saw a rad painting earlier at the MCASD & you also want more sauce to dip your sammich in. Serve.
Since it's a sammich, you can also take it to-go. Bag it up, skate o\-<\: to your local McDonalds, find an empty table, sit & grub it down next to some poor soul[s] eating their fake-boned-salt-lick McRib.
#EatRealFood #CookOrdie
Soundtrack: "99 Problems" - Jay-Z, The Prodigy remix [clean]
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